Saturday, November 1, 2014

Not good without him here

So there's a chance that I may have recently written about how sometimes my husband drives me crazy, and other times I wish he would just stop talking to me.

But then I realized it's his birthday.  And I haven't gotten him a present.

So this will have to do.

Joel and I aren't great at being sappy.  We love each other.  Really.  We do.  But when either of us tries to say something romantic it ends up sounding like it should be written down, dotted with hearts, folded 18 times and passed to our 7th grade crush.

Literally, you can see the other one cringe.

But when he left for a recent trip with a friend, I texted him shortly after his plane landed.

"Aiden says it's not good without you here."

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

"I kind of feel the same."

I hated to write it, honestly.  Because mushy things just don't feel right coming from my mouth.  Or fingers.

But he asked.  And it was how I felt.

As all four of us huddled together on one side of the dinner table so no one would have to sit beside an empty chair, it felt not good without him there.

Aiden was right.

It felt too quiet and lonely.  Less fun, and funny.

The baby kept singing "Happy Birthday" to me, but I couldn't muster a real laugh.

Our family's not complete without him.  There's something missing from the kitchen table and the side of the bed and from four, little hearts.

And even though I realized upon his return that perhaps I've been wrong in blaming my kids all these years for our messy home (that I was able to keep suspiciously clean while he was gone) and that he works way too much and that he really, really can drive me crazy.  I'd still rather he be here, than not.

So happy birthday, Joel.  I like you more than I don't like you.

How's that for romantic?


  1. This is SO funny and sweet! You guys are so good together, no words needed! :)