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Monday, March 23, 2015

Mornings are hard (still)

I know I've explained my stance on mornings once or twice or perhaps a million times.  And I know you're probably tired of hearing about it, but oh my gosh, they're not getting ANY easier.

And since I decided for some reason to have not one or two, but THREE kids, they're actually getting harder.

What do you people with five and six kids do?  Does it magically get easier?  Do the big kids take care of the little, as I've heard in the old fables, but have yet to witness in real life?

Because mornings with three kids make me feel as if I'm wading through thick, goopy sludge.  I mean, I want to wake up early and drink my coffee in peace and GET AHEAD on morning preparations, but I also love to sleep and the sleeping thing usually to always wins.

It's just that Aiden was a 4:30 to 5 waker.  That was my induction to motherhood.  Waking up at 4:30 or 5.  After a few weeks I didn't imagine I'd survive.

But eventually he started sleeping longer.  Little by little, and although the other two didn't follow in his ridiculously early rising footsteps, I can't for the life of me break the mentality that I sleep as long as my children will allow.  Even on school days.

So I drag myself out of bed ONLY when the youngest makes me.  And since we all know I'm not willing to compromise my coffee time, the rest gets crammed into this one hour window that feels long until you take into account the three extra humans who follow me around EVERYWHERE.

And this morning as I climbed the stairs for the 97th time I lamented out loud that it felt like we were moving in slow motion and that, at this rate, we would never, ever get to school.

I say this, of course, in the hopes that my children will panic a bit and move faster, and the panic part totally works, but the move faster never does.

And no matter what, when the biggest and the littlest FINALLY get in the car I come back inside to find the middle crawling around the house in search of socks and I nearly fall over in frustration because socks are only THE FIRST STEP!

You see, the thing is, I need my morning coffee for life and things of that sort, but it also tends to make me a bit jumpy.  And dramatic.  And so I make large declarations about leaving him behind while I take the others to school, which only makes him throw his shoes on the floor and WAIL and does not, in fact, speed him up in the least.

But I don't know what to say that will make him move faster, so I just keep saying these same things and he keeps throwing down the shoes that are STILL NOT ON HIS FEET and I'm fairly certain we'll be making declarations and not getting shoes on for the rest of our lives!

And so adding one extra step, such as returning library books, is darn near impossible.  One extra step feels like it will take a lifetime, and although for some in this family it seems like all we have is time, others of us need to get children to school because the only thing worse than getting children to school in the morning is NOT getting children to school in the morning.

So if you see me in the morning and ask how I am, and in return I smile or say anything positive, I am lying to you.

Nobody told me that being a morning person was a requirement for motherhood.   That your little people would be hanging around, expecting you to be nice before ten.  I can't be nice before ten!

But sometimes I can fake nice before ten.  Not before my coffee, though.  That's just ridiculous.

Thanks for sticking with me while we work out my morning issues here together.  I'm just going to be honest right now.  These morning rants, they are going to happen.  If you're lucky, only once every few months.  But possibly more.  I won't make any guarantees.

It's just that I come here, oftentimes, to work out the hard things in life.  And on days like today, and many other days, mornings are the hard things in life.  

I'm still hopeful that one day I'll enjoy mornings.  Probably not while the kids are at home, though.  I mean, I'm hopeful, not delusional.

But I really like people who say they wake up early and do yoga and go for walks and bike rides.  I feel like those people really have it together.  I don't like to actually talk to those people in the morning, but I like them a lot in the afternoons and evenings.

First, though, I need to be convinced that the morning hours are somehow better than the evening hours.  Because in the evening I get to watch TV and eat ice cream and nobody asks me for anything.  It's a beautiful time of the day and morning needs to do some BIG convincing if it wants to get me on board.

So here's to hoping this is the last one of these for a while.  But somehow, I doubt it.




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