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Monday, March 9, 2015

The Ballad of No More Naps

This morning I was taking a walk with Benjamin.  Our third of the day, to be exact.  His progress was agonizingly slow, but the sun was shining on my back and birds were chirping in the trees and I was composing, in my head, a post about beautiful spring.

About spring and all of its glory.  About sun and flowers and tweeting birdies and happiness.  I was going to write about HAPPINESS!

But that was all before I realized there would be NO NAP TODAY.

And so I threw up my hands and stomped from his room.  And instead of bouncing down the stairs and writing a post about freaking spring, I walked down the hallway with my hands still in the air and shouted, to no one in particular, "When am I ever going to get anything done?!"

And I passed the stupid laundry room, where I've been pulling clean, dry clothes out of the machine and piling them ON TOP of the drying rack, and I thought, I will never have time to fold laundry again!  No, for the rest of their lives I will be pulling the children's clothing items from the unfolded pile ON TOP OF THE DRYING RACK!

There is no nap.  NO NAP!

When am I supposed to breathe?  When am I supposed to shower?  When am I supposed to pick up the scattered bits of my sanity and piece them back together?

I mean, sure, there's TV.  But TV comes with guilt and noise and naps don't come with either of those things!

Naps come with peace and quiet and great joy.

My only consolation on no nap days is a steamy, fully caffeinated cup of afternoon coffee.  But not even a foamy latte can fully rescue a no nap day.

Oh, how I miss naps.  Forget everything I've ever said about your first baby being the hardest.  No.  A toddler who doesn't nap is the hardest.  A toddler who doesn't nap is IMPOSSIBLE.

There is always something on my leg all day long.  If it leaves my leg for a second the irresistible magnetic force between said toddler and said leg pulls him RIGHT BACK.

My other kids napped well beyond three.  This one didn't even make it to two.  What kind of a one-year-old doesn't nap?!

I'll tell you what kind.  The impossible kind.  The kind that is trying to destroy me.

And so I guess we'll get back into the sunshine.  Because my soul needs a big giant dose of Vitamin D right now.  I'll cry no more for nap times lost, never to be seen again.

I'll stop counting down the hours until he goes to sleep.  And I'll start counting the days till he goes to school.



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